Western media (TV ads) have taught us that to be happy we need more stuff.  Growing up watching TV and getting 3-5 minutes of ads every 10-15 minutes, brainwashed a generation that one more toy, one more car, one more piece of jewelry will make us rich, happy, successful and get us lots of women.

We learned this from TV.  How do we unlearn it after being brainwashed for so many years?


What is Unlearning?

Unlearning is not reframing or refreezing or something along that lines. They all focus on an end state whereas unlearning is about moving away from something rather than moving towards something.

So unlearning is exactly what it says. Intending to let go of what we have already learned or acquired. It is not about right or wrong. It is about being open to and exploring something that lies underneath the judgment, underneath the right and the wrong.

Unlearning and Spirituality

In spirituality literature, we talk about liberation or freeing oneself from the bondage. Whether it is Sufi, or Hindu or Buddhism or Judeo-Christian religions, unlearning the conditined or acquired behaviors and reaching for the higher truth, or Spirit, or God is the ultimate goal. Jiddu Krishnamurti, a well known Indian philosopher of the 20th Century had said repeated that the ‘truth is a pathless land’ and focused on freeing us from the conditioned responses. The process of unlearning is about liberation or freedom from the conditioning or from the known.

Obviously in this context of exploring unlearning, learning is used as acquisition of knowledge or information. In Vedanta, they talk about ‘para vidya’ and ‘apara vidya.’ One is learning about the manifested, external world and learning to manage and become good at dealing with what is outside of you. The other is about what is inside of you and knowing yourself and exploring who you are and what you are. In other words, the first one is about objective knowledge and the second is about subjective knowledge. Unlearning what is learned so that you are open to learning ‘what is unknown’ and to experience it is a path that interests many people.

It could also be a behavioral pattern or a habit or a mental construct too.



Heart surgery

What comes out of our mouth reflects what is in our heart.

What is in our heart is what we believe and what we believe shows where our faith is.  Faith is what you put your trust in.

We believe what we have learned.   We learn from past experience, reading, interacting with the world around us – listening, seeing, reading etc.

If what we believe and have learned is not based on truth we must UN-learn it.

The beliefs that we hold about life, play a major role in our happiness and our thoughts and feelings about ourselves and others.

Ephesians 4:29 ESV / 296 helpful votes

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Matthew 12:36 ESV / 242 helpful votes

I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak,

Psalm 19:14 ESV / 228 helpful votes

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

Matthew 12:37 ESV / 166 helpful votes

For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

Proverbs 18:21 ESV / 165 helpful votes

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.

Proverbs 17:27 ESV / 134 helpful votes

Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.

Psalm 141:3 ESV / 133 helpful votes

Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!

Colossians 3:8 ESV / 123 helpful votes

But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.

Proverbs 15:1 ESV / 109 helpful votes

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 21:23 ESV / 98 helpful votes

Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.

Proverbs 16:24 ESV / 93 helpful votes

Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.

Isaiah 55:11 ESV / 81 helpful votes

So shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

Proverbs 15:4 ESV / 77 helpful votes

A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.

Matthew 15:11 ESV / 69 helpful votes

It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.”

James 1:26 ESV / 60 helpful votes

If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.

Joshua 1:8 ESV / 58 helpful votes

This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.

2 Timothy 3:16 ESV / 47 helpful votes

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness,

Proverbs 18:20 ESV / 47 helpful votes

From the fruit of a man’s mouth his stomach is satisfied; he is satisfied by the yield of his lips.

Our own words frequently shape our good or evil fortune in life

James 3:8 ESV / 46 helpful votes

But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

1 John 1:9 ESV / 41 helpful votes

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Proverbs 10:19 ESV / 40 helpful votes

When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.

1 Timothy 6:12 ESV / 35 helpful votes

Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.

1 Corinthians 2:13 ESV / 33 helpful votes

And we impart this in words not taught by human wisdom but taught by the Spirit, interpreting spiritual truths to those who are spiritual.

Mark 11:23 ESV / 31 helpful votes

Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him.

Matthew 12:34 ESV / 29 helpful votes

You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.

Hebrews 4:12 ESV / 27 helpful votes

For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

Proverbs 13:3 ESV / 27 helpful votes

Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.

1 John 4:2-3 ESV / 26 helpful votes

By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you heard was coming and now is in the world already.

Matthew 12:34-37 ESV / 26 helpful votes

You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil. I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

Beliefs act as lenses


“Look at everything as though you were seeing it for the first time or last time.  Then your time on earth will be filled with glory.”
–   Betty Smith, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn 


Our beliefs act as lenses. These lenses can help us see things we can’t otherwise see, but they can also block us from seeing parts of reality.”
–   Steve Pavlina


FROM HERE: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4327528/

It is possible to identify four key, albeit overlapping functions of belief. First and foremost, beliefs provide a consistent and coherent representation of a subject’s world and the subject’s place within it. Such an intuitively coherent and ever-present framework allows subjects to pursue goals, avoid threats, and regulate their behavior in response to changes in their environment. This framework is presupposed by other higher-order cognitive functions, such as planning and decision-making, which require beliefs to conceptualise and evaluate the current situation, actions, and consequences. This framework thus provides the basis of action (Tullett et al., 2011, 2013). As Tullett et al. (2013, p. 401) note:

Every action that we take is grounded in an elaborate web of beliefs and goals. Take the simple act of opening a door. Such an act depends on our beliefs about what lies beyond the door, as well as what is available to us in our current location. At an even more basic level, our attempt to open the door is rooted in a belief that we understand how a door works, and are capable of using it. Furthermore, without the goal of pursuing something beyond the door, the act of opening the door would probably not take place.”

While such a framework may often be assumed, securing a sense of meaning appears particularly critical when defining one’s identity and coping with uncertainty (Inzlicht et al., 2011).

Second, as a stable representation, beliefs provide an explanatory framework for interpreting the world and processing incoming information. When faced with situations that threaten the coherence of the collective framework, subjects typically attempt to resolve inconsistencies by seeking to restore the over-arching sense of meaning. The coherence provided by the subject’s web of beliefs allows the subject to quickly integrate and, if necessary, reconcile new observations with previous observations held in memory. In this way, collective representations can evolve over time in response to new experiences, yet still represent the subject’s pooled understanding based on the past. This adaptive function allows subject’s greater capacity to understand and adjust to their environment. It also allows a subject to quickly interpret ambiguous or incomplete information and respond accordingly. Beliefs thus allow subjects to go beyond the available sensory information and act effectively in their environment.

Third, at a more basic level, the explanatory framework of beliefs helps to configure and calibrate lower-level modular cognitive systems, such as perception, language, memory, and attention. Beliefs provide the interpretive “lens” that shape our experience of the world. Consequently, beliefs are not just the reportable end-product of cognitive processes; they also generate expectations that help define on-line sensory experience through top–down processing. It is well established that phenomenological experience is not simply the registration of sensory inputs through domain specific transducers, but rather the constructive integration of sensory information filtered through pre-existing beliefs. This is nicely illustrated in visual illusions: a large body of research has shown that perception of an object or scene is not determined solely by the empirical sensory information, but rather is subject to top–down processes and expectations (Gregory, 1997). In the same way, our beliefs about the world prefigure our perceptual system. Our perception of the world thus involves the reconstruction of both sensory and pre-existing information about the world. This interpretative filter provides for the meaning, structure, and unity of immediate experience (Gregory, 1997).

Finally, at an interpersonal level, beliefs serve important social functions. In addition to allowing subjects to navigate social relationships and interpret other people’s motivations, beliefs provide a sense of community and security. Shared beliefs help define group norms and values. They provide a common understanding that enables interaction and facilitates social governance. They also help co-ordinate groups of individuals and provide for the development and transmission of cultural representations (see Sperber, 1997). These social functions may be particularly important in the acquisition of knowledge: they allow individuals within the community to acquire knowledge about their environment without necessarily learning this knowledge first hand and being exposed to any accompanying risks. The social functions of beliefs also means that beliefs cannot simply be understood by studying individuals in isolation and instead need to be related to their broader social context, including other beliefs in their milieu.

FROM HERE: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4327528/



Beliefs are best considered as being multidimensional. Beliefs share a number of common properties but can vary across dimensions within these properties. These include the following:

  • (1)
    Beliefs have different origins. Beliefs, for example, can be formed through direct experience or by accepting information from a trusted or authoritative source (Hughes and Sims, 1997; Langdon, 2013).
  • (2)
    Beliefs vary in terms of the level of evidence and support they command. Some beliefs have high levels of evidence, while others appear to be accepted without requiring much evidential support (Lamont, 2007).
  • (3)
    Beliefs can said to be “held” at different levels of awareness. Whereas some beliefs may involve considerable conscious preoccupation and rumination (susceptible to reflective control), other beliefs may appear implicit, unconscious, and only evident by inference from behavior (not susceptible to reflective control; Young et al., 2003).
  • (4)
    Beliefs vary considerably in generality and scope. Beliefs may refer, for example, to specific objects or individuals, groups of objects and people, or whole classes of objects and people (Freeman, 2007).
  • (5)
    Beliefs vary in their degree of personal reference. A belief can be limited to the specific individual holding the belief (e.g., “I am unique”); extend to friends, relatives and other in-group members; or apply to other groups of people or all people equally (Freeman, 2007).
  • (6)
    Beliefs can be held with different levels of conviction or degrees of confidence. This can range from firmly held (e.g., in the case of basic physical laws) to relative uncertainty (e.g., in the case of unfamiliar topics; Peters et al., 2004). In some beliefs, this conviction may even fluctuate over time or across different contexts (Bisiach et al., 1991; Connors and Coltheart, 2011).
  • (7)
    Beliefs vary in their resistance to change in response to counter-evidence and social pressure. While related to conviction, people can also vary in how open they are to disconfirming evidence toward their belief and to considering alternative points of view.
  • (8)
    Beliefs can vary in their impact on cognition and behavior. This may likewise be influenced by degree of conviction. Whereas people may act on some beliefs, they may fail to act on other beliefs that they verbally endorse (Bortolotti, 2013).
  • (9)
    Beliefs can produce different emotional consequences. Whereas some beliefs may be relatively innocuous or even self-serving, other beliefs may cause considerable distress (Beck, 1976).
  • (10)
    Beliefs vary in the degree to which they are shared by other people. Whereas some beliefs are very common, other beliefs may be comparatively unusual (e.g., in the case of some delusions; David, 1999).


from here:   http://www.mental-health-today.com/bp/art2.htm

Beliefs Vs. Reality

Each of us has our own unique set of beliefs.

The beliefs that we hold about life, play a major role in our happiness and our thoughts and feelings about ourselves and others.

It is vital that we examine our belief system.

For example, it has been shown statistically that those who hold strong spiritual beliefs recovery more easily from grief and loss.

I would imagine that those who believe perhaps that there is meaning in suffering, that there is a plan for them, that they will get better, etc. might have a better chance of recovery compared to those that don’t.

Let’s examine where some of our beliefs come from and how accurate they are.

My brother, born a year and a half before me, died in 1974 at the age of 20.

Go through each stage of grief… The first is shock/denial. Then you move on later to anger and depression. You can move back and forth with these two and later to acceptance. Actually you can break these stages down further if you want, but basically those are the stages.

I have reached the stage of acceptance with the loss of my brother a long time ago. However the emotional pain does not stop.

I was young when this happened and many say this permanently changed me. Why do you suppose? What have the losses in your life done to you? What statements do you say about life as a result of your losses?

There are many kinds of losses – loss of jobs, loss of relationships, loss of a lifestyle, etc. These losses teach us about life. What life is for us, depends upon our experiences, our personality and how we were raised in my opinion.

My neighbor does not believe in God because her mother died at a young age due to severe diabetes and did not take care of herself. Apparently her mother suffered miserably and my neighbor felt that if there was a God, He/She would not allow that kind of suffering. You see, if my neighbor would have had a radically different childhood experience, her core beliefs might be very different.

Be careful about what you “learn” due to your experiences.

I learned that I was mortal and that life was not very important. My brother spent all his life in school for nothing. He may as well have stayed home and played because going to school amounted to nothing as he died at age 20. So why was anything I was doing important? What a fool I was to think that I was important and that my life was.

I began as a fresh person with an air of innocence. Each strand of my hair was made by God and was important and had a purpose.

After my brother’s death, really nothing, including myself was important anymore. I was permanently stained with my brother’s death on me so life began to be about emotional pain and I remember wondering why everyone wasn’t an alcoholic. How could anyone stand life otherwise? I have an additive personality but not chemically.

The joke I had heard actually made some sense. “What is the definition of reality? An illusion brought on by the lack of alcohol.”

I remember envying alcoholics because they had a place to escape to and I didn’t.

It is much easier to learn something than it is to UNlearn something. I had to UNlearn all the incorrect absolute nonsense that I told myself about me, other people and life after my brother died. Why? Because it was toxic. It was making me ill and keeping me there. 

I had to learn how to love myself and discover that indeed I am a wondrous and precious human being.

Part of learning to love myself included forgiving myself for all my behavior related to my illness. That was a lot!


from here:   http://www.mental-health-today.com/bp/art2.htm


Lies (aka stories we create that are not aligned with truth)

We create stories for ourselves to help us understand the world.   Sometimes the stories are more based on facts instead of truth.  A book my wife was reading conveniently lists 40 good examples.  Recognizing the lie and replacing it with truth can change a life through the change in heart and world vision.

From here:  http://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/life-issues/relationships/women/40-lies-women-believe

40 Lies Women Believe  (personally… I don’t think this applies only to women….)

A key to experiencing freedom and joy is to replace lies with the truth of God’s Word.


  1. THE LIE: God is not really good.


    • God is good, and everything He does is good.
    • God never makes mistakes.
  1. THE LIE: God doesn’t love me.


    • God’s love for me is infinite and unconditional.
    • I don’t have to perform to earn God’s love or favor.
    • God always has my best interests at heart.
  1. THE LIE: God is just like my father.


    • God is exactly what He has revealed Himself to be in His Word.
    • God is infinitely more wise and loving than any earthly father could ever be.
  1. THE LIE: God is not really enough.


    • God is enough. If I have Him, I have all I need.
  1. THE LIE: God’s ways are too restrictive.


    • God’s ways are best.
    • God’s restrictions are always for my good.
    • Resisting or rebelling against God’s ways brings conflict and heartache.
  1. THE LIE: God should fix my problems.


    • Life is hard.
    • God is more concerned about glorifying Himself and changing me than about solving my problems.
    • God has an eternal purpose He is fulfilling in the midst of my problems.
    • God wants to use my problems as part of His sanctifying process in my life.
    • No matter what problem I am facing, God’s grace is sufficient for me.
  1. THE LIE: I’m not worth anything.


    • My value is not determined by what others think of me or what I think of myself. My value is determined by how God views me.
    • To God, my soul is worth more than the price of the whole world.
    • If I am a child of God, I am God’s cherished possession and treasure.
  1. THE LIE: I need to learn to love myself.


    • By faith, I need to receive God’s love for me.
    • I already love myself. I need to deny myself and let God love others through me.
  1. THE LIE: I can’t help the way I am.


    • If I am a child of God, I can choose to obey God.
    • I am responsible for my own choices.
    • I can be changed through the power of God’s Spirit.
  1. THE LIE: I have my rights.


    • Claiming rights will put me in bondage.
    • Yielding rights will set me free.
  1. THE LIE: Physical beauty matters more than inner beauty.


    • At best, physical beauty is temporal and fleeting.
    • The beauty that matters most to God is that of my inner spirit and character.
  1. THE LIE: I should not have to live with unfulfilled longings.


    • I will always have unfulfilled longings this side of heaven.
    • The deepest longings of my heart cannot be filled by any created person or thing.
    • If I will accept them, unfulfilled longings will increase my longing for God and for heaven.
  1. THE LIE: I can sin and get away with it.


    • The choices I make today will have consequences; I will reap what I sow.
    • Sin’s pleasures only last for a season.
    • Sin exacts a devastating toll. There are no exceptions.
    • If I play with fire, I will get burned. I will not escape the consequences of my sin.
  1. THE LIE: My sin isn’t really that bad.


    • Every act of sin is an act of rebellion against God.
    • No sin is small.
  1. THE LIE: God can’t forgive what I have done.


    • The blood of Jesus is sufficient to cover any and every sin I have committed.
    • There is no sin too great for God to forgive.
    • God’s grace is greater than the greatest sin anyone could ever commit.
  1. THE LIE: I am not fully responsible for my actions and reactions.


    • God does not hold me accountable for the actions of others.
    • I am responsible for my own choices.
  1. THE LIE: I cannot walk in consistent victory over sin.


    • If I am a child of God, I don’t have to sin.
    • I am not a slave to sin. Through Christ, I have been set free from sin.
    • By God’s grace and through the finished work of Christ on the cross, I can experience victory over sin.
  1. THE LIE: I don’t have time to do everything I’m supposed to do.


    • There is time in every day to do everything that God wants me to do.
  1. THE LIE: I can make it without consistent time in the Word and prayer.


    • It is impossible for me to be the woman God wants me to be apart from spending consistent time cultivating a relationship with Him in the Word and prayer.
  1. THE LIE: A career outside the home is more valuable and fulfilling than being a wife and mother.


    • In the will of God, there is no higher, holier calling than to be a wife and mother.
    • God uniquely designed the woman to be a bearer and nurturer of life.
    • There is no greater measure of a woman’s worth or success than the extent to which she serves as the heart of her home.
    • God’s plan is that a woman’s primary attention and efforts should be devoted to ministering to the needs of her husband and children.
  1. THE LIE: I have to have a husband to be happy.


    • Happiness is not found in (or out of) marriage.
    • There is no person who can meet my deepest needs. No one and nothing can make me truly happy, apart from God.
    • God has promised to provide everything I need. If He will receive more glory by my being married, then He will provide a husband for me.
    • Those who wait on the Lord always get His best. Those who insist on getting what they want often end up with heartache.
  1. THE LIE: It is my responsibility to change my mate.


    • A godly life and prayer are a wife’s two greatest means of influencing her husband’s life.
    • It is far more effective for a woman to appeal to the Lord to change her husband than to try to exert pressure on him directly.
  1. THE LIE: My husband is supposed to serve me.


    • If I expect to be served, I will often be disappointed. If I seek to serve others, without expecting anything in return, I will never be disappointed.
    • God made the woman to be a helper to the man.
    • We are never more like Jesus than when we are serving others.
  1. THE LIE: If I submit to my husband, I’ll be miserable.


    • Submission places me under the covering and protection of God, who controls the “heart of the king.”
    • When I step out from under authority, I become vulnerable to the attacks of the Enemy.
    • My willingness to place myself under God-ordained authority is the greatest evidence of how big I believe God really is.
    • Reverent submission is a wife’s greatest means of influencing a husband who is not walking with God.
    • A wife’s response to her husband’s authority should determine the way the church is to submit to the authority of the Lord Jesus.
  1. THE LIE: If my husband is passive, I’ve got to take the initiative, or nothing will get done.


    • God created the man to be an initiator and the woman to be a responder.
    • If a woman takes the reins rather than waiting on God to move her husband, her husband is likely to be less motivated to fulfill his God-given responsibility.
  1. THE LIE: Sometimes divorce is a better option than staying in a bad marriage.


    • Marriage is a lifelong covenant that is intended to reflect the covenant-keeping heart of God. As He is faithful to His covenant, so we must be faithful to keep our marriage covenant.
    • There is no marriage God cannot heal. There is no person God cannot change.
    • God uses the rough edges of each partner in a marriage to conform the other to the image of Christ.
    • God’s grace is sufficient to enable you to be faithful to your mate and to love and forgive without limit.
  1. THE LIE: It’s up to us to determine the size of our family.


    • God is the Creator and Giver of life.
    • Anything that hinders or discourages women from fulfilling their God-given calling to be bearers and nurturers of life furthers Satan’s schemes and aids in his efforts.
    • One of the purposes of marriage is to produce a “godly offspring.”
    • Childbearing is a basic, God-given role for women. Children are to be received as a blessing from God.
  1. THE LIE: Children need to get exposed to the “real world” so that they can learn to function in it.


    • Our task is not to raise up children who can fit into this world or merely survive it but to bring up children who will be used by God to change our world.
    • Like young, tender plants, children need to be protected from worldly influences until they are spiritually mature enough to withstand them.
    • The fear of the Lord and a vital, personal relationship with God are the best means of preparing children to withstand secular culture and to make a difference in our world.
  1. THE LIE: All children will go through a rebellious stage.


    • If parents expect their children to rebel, they increase the likelihood that they will do so.
    • God promises a blessing to parents who keep His covenant and who teach their children to do the same.
    • Parents cannot force their children to walk with God, but they can model godliness and cultivate a climate in the home that creates an appetite for God and is conducive to the spiritual nurture and growth of their children.
  1. THE LIE: I know my child is a Christian because he prayed to receive Christ at an early age.


    • Those who do not have a heart for God or any hunger for things of God and who have a consistent pattern of rejecting the Word and ways of God have no basis for assurance of salvation.
    • Parents who assume their children know the Lord, regardless of their lifestyle, may give their children a false sense of security and may not be praying appropriately for their children.
  1. THE LIE: We are not responsible for how our children turn out.


    • Parents have enormous influence in molding the lives of their children by their example, their teaching, and their leadership.
    • Each generation is responsible to pass on to the next the heritage of a heart that knows and walks with God.
    • Parents will give account to God for the spiritual condition of the lives He has entrusted to their care.
    • Each individual is responsible for his own walk and obedience. Regardless of what kind of parents he had, each person will give account to God for his own choices.
  1. THE LIE: If I feel something, it must be true.


    • My feelings cannot always be trusted. They often have little to do with reality and can easily deceive me into believing things that are not true.
    • I must choose to reject any feelings that are not consistent with the Truth.
  1. THE LIE: I can’t control my emotions.


    • I do not have to be controlled by my emotions.
    • I can choose to fix my mind on the Truth, to take every thought captive to the Truth, and to let God control my emotions.
  1. THE LIE: I can’t help how I respond when my hormones are out of whack. (It’s understandable to act like a shrew at certain times.)


    • By God’s grace, I can choose to obey Him regardless of how I feel.
    • There is no excuse for ungodly attitudes, responses, or behavior.
    • My physical and emotional cycles and seasons are under the control of the One who made me, cares for me, and has made provision for each stage of my life.
  1. THE LIE: The answer to depression must first be sought in medication and/or psychotherapy.


    • Physical and emotional symptoms of depression may be the fruit of issues in the spirit that need to be addressed.
    • If my depression did not originate as a physical problem, medication will not permanently relieve my depression.
    • I do not have a “right” to “feel good.” Regardless of how I feel, I can choose to give thanks, to obey God, and to reach out to others.
    • God has given us powerful resources—His grace, His Spirit, His Word, His promises, the body of Christ—to minister to our emotional needs.
  1. THE LIE: If my circumstances were different, I would be different.


    • My circumstances do not make me what I am; they merely reveal what I am.
    • If I am not content with my present circumstances, I am not likely to be happy in any other set of circumstances.
    • I may not be able to control my circumstances, but my circumstances do not have to control me.
    • Every circumstance that touches my life has first been filtered through His fingers of love.
  1. THE LIE: I shouldn’t have to suffer.


    • It is impossible to be holy apart from suffering. There is a redemptive fruit that cannot be produced in our lives apart from suffering.
    • We have been called to suffer.
    • True joy is not the absence of pain, but the presence of the Lord Jesus in the midst of the pain.
    • Suffering is a pathway to sanctification, a doorway into greater intimacy with God.
  1. THE LIE: My circumstances will never change—this will go on forever.


    • My suffering may last a long time, but it will not last forever.
    • My painful circumstances will not last one moment longer than God knows is necessary to achieve His eternal purposes in and through my life.
    • One day, all pain, suffering, and tears will be removed forever.
  1. THE LIE: I just can’t take any more.


    • Whatever my circumstance, whatever my situation, His grace is sufficient for me.
    • God will never place more on me than He will give me grace to bear.
  1. THE LIE: It’s all about me.


    • God is the beginning and ending and center of all things. All things were created by Him and for Him. It’s all about Him!
    • My life is dispensable. I was created for His pleasure and glory.



Stories Are How We Make Sense of Life

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Nathan Bransford


Bear with me here, we’re going philosophical. This has been on my mind a lot lately: Why in the world do we tell stories? Why in the heck do we write?

And then the other day it hit me: Telling stories isn’t what we do in our spare hours, something just to pass the time. Telling stories is what we doperiod. Stories are how we make sense of life.

Our entire worldview and memories are created out of our stories. Two people can witness the same event, process and interpret it completely differently and reach completely different conclusions about what just happened. And that’s before the fluid and corrosive effects of memory take hold. The reality of the actual event, even if it was recorded on film, blurs into the past. In its place: Stories, our way of interpreting what we have seen, which is all we have to make sense of what passes before our eyes.

We are so adept at distilling our lives into stories that we forget how tenuous a connection they really have to reality, how much we highlight some events while brushing over others, how much our biases come into play, how we will weave together disparate events, even random occurrences, into some sort of cohesive shorthand that can’t possibly capture the enormity of a life. Heck, our stories can’t even fully capture the smallest of moments.

And when it comes down to it, all of our divisions of politics, history, religion, and partisanship come down to different beliefs in different stories. We go to war over different stories, we silently despair over different stories. When our friendships and relationships dissolve they do so because we can’t reconcile our competing narratives. One person’s temper is another person’s passion, one person’s reluctance is another person’s prudence.

How do you explain something as complex as the dissolution of a friendship? We’ll come up with a story that we can explain to others, but if we’re honest with ourselves I think we all sense that there’s some greater truth lurking just outside of our grasp.

Life is too complicated to hold in your head and relationships are too immense and multi-faceted to easily comprehend. So we write and tell stories to make sense of our relationships and existence. A novel can capture more than we can readily contemplate, and an author can, brick by brick, build a world that can illuminate and give meaning to some part of the full tapestry of our lives and relationships. They help us understand things that are too difficult to think about all at once.

Sometimes we catch a glimpse of the dark abyss of uncertainty beyond the comfort of our stories. When our stories are challenged in a particularly incisive way, when they fail to really encompass the totality of what we’re experiencing, when our beliefs are exposed for being mere stories rather than the reality we had tried to transubstantiate out of our fictions, we are confronted with the the chilling fact that there are unknowable truths at the heart of life.

So when faced with that paralyzing taste of uncertainty we retreat back to our narratives and the comforting cohesiveness of our fictions. Even if our stories are, inevitably, imperfect and incomplete.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Nathan Bransford





LEAST happy place in the world… 157/157 as of 161202


Main article: Religion in Burundi
Religion in Burundi[94]
religion percent

Sources estimate the Christian population at 80–90%, with Roman Catholics representing the largest group at 60–65%. Protestant and Anglican practitioners constitute the remaining 15–25%. An estimated 5% of the population adheres to traditional indigenous religious beliefs. Muslims constitute 2–5%, the majority of whom are Sunnis and live in urban areas.[15][94][95]