As a man, I jump to the fix after the first 1/2 of the first sentence.   This breaks relationships.  To build the relationship just do empathy (Just don’t try to do the fix..).  This is how:

  • Empathy is:  putting yourself in the shoes of the other person and look at the world through their eyes.   (NOTE Empathy is not fixing the problem.)
  • Here is the goal..  produce an accurate document (only for yourself) clearly detailing (only) their side of the story, their perspective.    (NOT my side of the story, not my fix.)
  • When they are talking – try to look at it from THEIR perspective (write down their perspective)
    • What did they say   (Repeat back to them… “Did you say _____”?)
    • What are they thinking     (Repeat back to them “Where you thinking _____”?)
    • What are they feeling   (Repeat back to them “So, you were/are feeling ____”?)
    • Write that down… ASK question to clarify and make sure you got it right
      • Repeat back to them what you think you heard.
  • Must listen because if you do not listen you will never understand each other.
  • When you think you accuratley have it all documented…  Say out loud…  “Honey, I think I hear what you are saying.”
  • When you think you accuratley have it all documented… Say: Yes, I can see how that makes a lot of sense.  YES YOU CAN HONESTLY SAY THIS because you are in their shoes, looking at it from their point of view and if they think it, if they believe it, if they do it, it makes sense to them.
  • Pray about it together.  Ask for God’s wisdom in the situation.  God’s guidance for the best possible solution.  God’s help.



  • Embracing the Various Seasons of 1_2.mp3


  • Embracing the Various Seasons of 2_2.mp3


  • When God Gives You a Second Chance1_2.mp3


  • When God Gives You a Second Chance2_2.mp3

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