Anger & Belief

The cost associated with Anger is broken relationships.

The purpose of anger is to recalibrate the other person so they will not repeat what they did.

The people who are most angry are the people who are most entitled.  1) large men  2) physically attractive women 3) rich  4) powerful (politicians – Donald Trump)   4) poor rich white americans (big group mentatility… we are the 99%) – feel entitled.  (strength in numbers)

If you are never angry, others will treat you badly and that will never change.

Why do we get angry:

  • “I am the type of guy that wants to do everything I can to make things go the way I want them to go.”
  • “I want to try to control events”
  • Hypothalimus, pituitary gland, adrenal gland – all triggered in cascade chemicals
    • sends blood to extremities
    • sends stimulant that gives energy
    • drives fight of flight
  • sometimes related to impulse control
  • have the belief that they can control others, or believe they can make the rest of the world behave according to their plan
    • “if they say that to me one more time I am going to let them have it”
    • also feeding into belief that they are helpless “I cannot take this any more” which actually fuels Anger

What does anger do:

  • Anger damages relationships
  • Anger (chronic anger) can cause health issues because of back chemicals in body all the time.
  • Anger (chronic anger) can cause sleep issues (adrenaline)
  • BIG PROBLEM with group of angry people that do not stop being angry after 2-3 minutes.  These are people that:
    • Stay angry all day
    • Plot revenge against driver
    • Become cynical and hostile – brooding anger.  These people say:
      • “No one does anything unless it is in their best interest”
      • “No one can be trusted”
      • These people NEVER feels safe.  They go through life constantly in fear.
    • Cortisole – chemical released
      • get sick
      • stress hormone
      • The stress hormone, cortisol, is public health enemy number one. Scientists have known for years that elevated cortisol levels: interfere with learning and memory, lower immune function and bone density, increase weight gain, blood pressure, cholesterol, heart disease… The list goes on and on.

How to deal with Anger – be better

  • ASK yourself – “How can I make this situation better?”  ( big picture)  — you will feel much more EMPOWERED and much less likely to be angry.
  • Neurons that fire together wire together.
    • WHAT ever you do in response to a feeling, if you do that repeditively – it gets HARD WIRED into the brain.  (We change the brain).  Groved – default action…
      • Example – hit walls… if we start to hit walls when we get angry, and we do it a lot, hitting walls becomes an automatic response every time we get angry.
    • Literally it is about building up (practicing) good habits.
      • 2 part process
        1. Ability to calm yourself down faster
        2. Have something to do when you are aroused that is helpful and not harmfil (pushups, take a walk)  — deep  breaths

 

 

 

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p04544qd

How to be Angry – Business Daily – August 26, 2016 – How to be Angry.mp3

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s